constellationprize | [imeeji] INBOX

If we do it after we start drinking we'll probably make a mess.

[so yeah he's going to get up and go get the stuff]

Mm. I'll wait...

[ in the meantime she'll go ahead and get everything ready in the room, grabbing a towel to lay down over the bed before setting her blouse aside and lying down on her back ]

[pretty soon he's returning, hands washed and bandages and disinfectant carried along]

You ready?

Mm. Why don't we start?

Sure.

[setting the bandages and such aside and taking out his knife]

I'm gonna make it my name, okay?

Okay. That sounds nice...

[ despite herself her arm is a little tense in anticipation of the pain; she flexes her fingers idly in an attempt to relax, curling them loose into the bedsheets. She focuses on that sensation as she does, on the softness and smoothness of the fabric, tries to count out the threads on her fingertips. One, two . . . ]

... Is your name what's written on his arm, too?

Mmhm.

[and he starts cutting, delicate curved lines going just deep enough that they'll scar

there aren't that many characters, but enough for it to be pretty unpleasant]

[ to her surprise, keeping her voice in is the easy part. not so much that she thought it would be difficult - of course she hadn't given any thought to the pain at all. but,

it's painful - even having been here so long she is not accustomed to the sensation of pain, especially without the adrenaline of a traumatic game. there is a part of her now that is compelled, almost, to relish in being able to experience the feeling at all, wants to commit the sting of each stroke to memory etched even deeper than his name - for that name, the hand that carved it and the person that owns it, but.

it does still hurt. and happy as she is to be here, easy as it is to bite back a cry on clenched teeth or her lip, the muscles of her arm aren't so compliant. despite herself she can't help but try to flinch away, but she can't have the writing ruined; gesturing with her free hand, she rasps out, ]

- Um, we - maybe ... restraining it, might be - . . .

Edited 2022-06-13 19:04 (UTC)

Oh, yeah. Good thinking.

[one curse of chains later her arm is tightly bound down to the bed, and he swiftly finishes the job after that]

[ eventually she does have to resort to cupping her free hand over her mouth, but she does make it through without her voice leaking out too much; once it's done and she's free to release her breath there's of course a while she spends just. catching it, panting,

. . . but as she does so her head just lolls off to whatever side of her he is on, smiling a little sheepishly ]

. . . Thank you... I know that it must have seemed like a strange request to hear from me, but - I'm really grateful . . .

[ and, after a pause, ]

Um, for you - ... since I ended up having you do this, is there anything that you want to have done, too?

[ what is the scarification equivalent of exchanging rings. it was her idea but she's a little out of her element ]

[going to start disinfecting the wound and bandage it up]

...I've got a scar from Ruler too. Do you wanna put one on me?

Is that really okay...?

[ but there's a pause before she adds ]

Where is it...?

[sticks out his tongue to show off the X shaped scar on it]

Oh, that - . . .

[ looks at it - then just his mouth once he rescinds his tongue - for a while, thoughtful ]

Then - ... where could something like that go...? There's -

[ ... ]

If it were on your hand, there, then ... it would definitely be a nice one then, and whenever a knife was held, then you could end up thinking of me, but ...

[ if she cut in the wrong spot, or too deeply, then it could compromise his ability to do that at all, she thinks - that she's certain she could avoid, but the bandage he'd need to wear while it healed would still limit his range of movement for a bit.

still, if not his tongue, then - ]

... Um, would something like that be okay...? Or do you think - maybe, a place like the inside of your cheek could be something nice too, couldn't it...?

Edited 2022-06-19 21:35 (UTC)

Hm, something like that could work. But it's gonna be tough to get a scar on there, isn't it? The hand would be easier.

Mm. It would be nice, but if a scar ended up building up there... it would take a lot longer than we'll have left together, wouldn't it? But, if it's your palm, then ...

[ a pause, ]

I don't really mind if anyone sees...

Is that okay?

It's totally okay by me.

Then -

I wonder what it should be ...

[ ... ]

I'll go to wash my hands - I'll think about it while I'm there, so you should get ready too, okay?

'Kaaay.

[pats her head]

[ leans into it a bit, but does get up to wash her hands

and as she does - as she takes a moment to wash her face, too, clarity that she should do so brought on by the mind crush - she mulls it over.

she's decided enough on the location. there on his hand, such that he'd never lose track of it, that reminder of her throbbing dully at any time he grasped too firmly. the knob on a door, the end of a ladle -

the handle of a knife. there in his hand, where purpose and action meet - she'll etch her very form into that tiny interstice and mark him forever, a sensation that could outlast any form.

a thought of the shape occurs to her then; if deeply, she could truly make it last. in these circumstances, she knows just how easy it would be to do,

to ensure he could never hold a knife again. that he'd find safety in having become truly useless, that every attempt would rouse the mind with thoughts of her - only briefly does it occur, a thought intrusive and ephemeral as lightning, there just long enough to breach the surface into awareness and back down beneath the waves again, underneath the silt -

deeper, what bits of her nerves seep through her use of the skill insist, inside of a trench, burnt to a crisp within its geothermal vents. she could never do that. how thoroughly vile she must be to even consider such at all. it's no surprise that she was rejected, almost dull to consider the reason that she was killed.

but she knows, still. it's a wickedness he, at least, would embrace with outstretched arms. and besides -

it's unlikely that they'll ever meet again. not outside of this place. she can't go that far, but she can't do nothing either.

. . . and so, after a bit she comes back, sitting herself down on the edge of the bed. ]

Um - ... so that it doesn't cause any problems while it's healing, we should make sure to use your non-dominant hand, shouldn't we...?

[he's got the bandages and disinfectant reorganised so they'll be easy to use when necessary and is casually thinking about getting an early start on drinking when she gets back]

...Actually, it probably won't matter. Since I'll be getting my Servant abilities back, it'll heal really fast.

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