constellationprize | [imeeji] INBOX

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[imeeji] INBOX

Hi! This is ☆radia! I'm really sorry I wasn't able to answer your call... Um, if you need anything, it's fine to leave a message here! I'll answer you as soon as I can!

[ for phonecalls and texts ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... I don't really know. I'm sorry. But -

That's what I think. It's logical to make sure no one remembers, but I'm worried. Even if there's nothing I can do about it either way, I don't want that to happen to you again...

That has no bearing on whether you remember it or not.

I don't mind it. If you hate it, that's fine. But you said so before, didn't you?

"It doesn't feel right."

It shouldn't feel right - this is certainly unnatural - so it's fine to think as much. But, don't hide behind something like concern for me. This is a flimsy excuse at best.

- It's not an excuse!

. . .

In any case, you've got it wrong. It's not that I'm "not allowed to feed him".

It's that I'm "not allowed to get hurt".

So, even if I were to see him again in such a state, I could only feed him in such a way that did not hurt me. Even then, though, Ruby Sour-san has been taking wonderful care of him already, you know?

...

[ . . . ]

Mm.

[ plays with the hem of her skirt a bit idly, turning her gaze away ]

... Okay.

You have more to say.

[ shakes her head ]

If you're sure it'll be okay, then I trust you.

I'm sorry. I probably made you worry, too.

For what reason do you think I worried?

[ pulling her knees up to her chest, resting her chin there ]

Well, you know, I'm - I'm always being difficult like this, and saying frustrating things...

It's okay. I'll consent.

. . .

Frustrating. . . I don't know if I'd even call it that.

[ with a soft exhale ]

You can hate me for this, you know. But, thank you.

[ sort of muttered into her knees ]

... It wasn't an excuse.

. . . Alright.

It wasn't - why would I hate you for something like this...? I was just worried, but if you're sure things will be okay, then it's fine, isn't it...?

Even so, you can still resent me.

If you don't understand, it's nothing to dwell on.

I don't really know what that means, either... I'm not going to do anything like that. I just -

[ a pause as she swallows, grimacing - she manages to keep her tone controlled enough, soft enough, but there is definitely that like. distinct cracking in her voice, frustrated ]

I wasn't sure at first, and then I realized it was because I was worried...

[ considering that, before exhaling ]

Well, that's no surprise. Dia-sama's always worrying about me, after all.

[ pulls her knees in a little closer ]

... Then why did you say that...?

. . . Words are nothing without actions.

...

[ ]

... If it happens again, then I'll go to Taisho.

If what happens again. . . ?

I'll write it down.

If this happens, after it happens - if you get hurt by someone like that again, outside of a game, then...

[ mnnn

time between resolve being established and resolve faltering: like 3 seconds ]

... No, I don't want to do anything like that either. I just want you to stay safe. I don't want to hurt or punish anyone, so I can't do a contract like that...

. . . That's fine.

I'm not asking you to take vengeance for me.

I couldn't do that either. I just - ...

[ shifts her weight around a bit, shutting her eyes ]

... Can I say something selfish...?

. . . What is it?

[ mumble mumble

eventually, very very soft, per her usual as if she is kind of ashamed to say so ]

. . . I'm just scared...

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