constellationprize | [imeeji] INBOX

[thinking he's upset her, he's almost about to pull away and... something. apologise? just run away?

but then she kisses him back and he practically melts against her with relief - and continues the kiss with a feeling of desperation]

[ lifting a hand to stroke soothingly at his hair, maintaining a relatively chaste, light pressure on her end; still, it's loose, her lips parted slightly, an open invitation to deepen the kiss if he decides that he wants to ]

[he accepts the invitation without really thinking - it just seems like the thing to do with the topic they've been discussing, with her warmth and his loneliness]

[ she deepens the kiss in kind, going still momentarily at the taste - she remembers it now that she's experiencing it again, and her disgust isn't so great that she could bring herself to pull away or stop, not in the face of the possibility that she'd reject him in doing so,

but still, eventually she does need to breathe - she separates them for that alone, letting her lips rest at the corner of his mouth, the edge of his jaw, a dark flush having crept into her face ]

[brushes his mouth along her cheek, to the spot where her jaw meets her neck

his breathing's a little fast, his cheeks dark, but otherwise he seems to have calmed down]

. . . It's okay.

[ is all she really manages to say as she cradles his head, works her fingers in against his scalp; it's so soft it's practically exhaled, just barely above a whisper ]

...Sorry.

[even though she did kiss him back, it was probably a bad thing to do, right? he shouldn't be kissing her or anyone else, not really.]

You don't have to apologize.

[ a pause ]

. . . You didn't do anything wrong. And it was - ...

[ and another ]

. . . Was it scary...?

...What, kissing you?

[ a light shake of her head ]

What happened, while you were with him...?

...

No. It just... gave me a lot of feelings I didn't like.

Do you want to talk about it...?

Do you?

[ , ]

. . . What do you mean?

I mean, do you want to talk about what happened when you were with him? The stuff you talked about or whatever?

. . . Those are the kinds of things we talked about.

[ but there's a pause before she adds, ]

He was separated from his Master, but no matter how much he tries, he can't feel like he's any closer to being reunited with them . . .

...I don't really give a shit about him or his Master.

Then I don't think . . .

I'm not sure I have anything else to talk about, from then...

...

Okay.

[ there's a fairly lengthy pause. vaguely, she sort of gets the impression that he's picked up on her lie, within that, that she's made him upset - neither is acceptable but it's difficult to compromise the former for the latter; she can't upset him, can't reject him, but what happened would certainly upset him, wouldn't it? and lucifel's double -

lucifel's double, she thinks, surely is undeserving of any further enmity. she isn't worth that, not in general, not when she can so vividly recall enjoying so much of what was done to her - what they did together, anyway, not when she invited and requested everything herself - in comparison to what happened to doodle, it's less than a footnote. and yet,

and yet, here they are. she can't divulge that information, but she can't hurt him any further than this -

so she presses close again, leaning to kiss lightly at the shell of his ear. soothing? ]

It was just things like that . . . he was really interested in my principles, so we talked about things like that for a pretty long time before I left... well, he did ask about Luci, but I don't think I was very helpful . . .

[sighs again, reaching to run a hand through her hair, perhaps to comfort her or himself]

What did he think? About your principles.

[ trembles, briefly, at the hand in her hair before calming down ]

I don't think he liked them very much . . .

[ with a small, thin smile ]

[pulls his hand away immediately like it's been burned, but doesn't acknowledge it in any way]

Not surprising.

Even though he's different, there's a lot that's still the same, so I could tell...

... What happened with you two?

I already told you, didn't I.

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