[imeeji] INBOX

[constellationprize]

Hi! This is ☆radia! I'm really sorry I wasn't able to answer your call... Um, if you need anything, it's fine to leave a message here! I'll answer you as soon as I can!
 

[ for phonecalls and texts ]

Comments

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

[ hesitant ]

. . . Are you sure...?

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

[ pause

turning, to look at her ]

. . . Why are you asking?

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

[ . . .

Glancing away, with just her eyes ]

. . . I saw you.

He was there too, and he smelled different, so I know it was . . .

I thought - the second time I saw you I thought you were awake, but you were wearing a blindfold...

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

[ freezes in place ]

. . . You. . . ?

[ faintly, a little breathless ]

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

[ She just stares out in front of her, eyes downcast. Oddly breathless herself, ]

... He -

I heard... that if we'd stayed together - my hands and feet were tied up, but I could still crawl, so I was told - that I would have tried to wake you up if we stayed together, so he moved you somewhere else. I -

Before that he told me he'd kill you, so I was just glad you were safe, but I...

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

. . .

It doesn't matter what happened. All I remember are dreams.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

. . . What...

[ and softer still, raw as if on the verge of tears ]

... What did you dream about?

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

I -

[ turning away now, ears red - and he marches directly into the kitchen ]

. . . L-let's talk about this later.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

Ah...

[ shuffling after him at a brisk pace, still slower - right, everything will burn if they aren't careful, first of all ]

I'll be right there . . .

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

[ hasty himself, nearly pulling the rice out without using mitts before he remembers to protect his hands ]

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

- Luci...!

[ trying to close the distance between them, stopping just short as he pulls back to get the mitts again ]

... Your hands...

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

[ freezing in place - ]

- I'm alright, I remembered. The tea, Dia-sa—n?

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

...

[ eying him evenly, anxious, mouth and brow pressed thin and tight, eyes moist with concern, some trepidation ]

. . . Mm. I'll take the water off of the burner, so you can pick a blend that you want to drink today, okay...?

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

Eh? - Ah, the usual is fine, for today.

[ picking up the rice pot and turning to go to the room ]

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

[ with an affirmative noise she picks out his favorite and follows him back, cups stacked in one hand, tin beneath her arm, but she keeps her distance, moving slow ]

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

[ setting the rice down. sitting down, himself

. . .

. . .

. . . ]

Well, now . . .

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

[ sets the cups out and gets tea steeping for both of them, quiet, gaze averted


. . .


. . .


. . . ]

I'm so -

[ . . .

. . .

. . . Soft, ]

I don't really . . . I don't know what to do . . .

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

[ . . . ]

Well. . .

[ softly ]

Did you . . . with him, too?

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

[ s. Stiffens ]

I - he ...

[ and exhales, with a tremble. The position that she was in might have been painful, and she might have asked him to stop, but in the first place - in the first place, she asked him, and she was the one that felt as good as she did. Even if that wasn't the case,

Even if that wasn't the case, that's not enmity that he'd deserve. Even if she can't explain the quaver in her voice or her trembling fingertips or the tightness in her throat at the thought of everything that happened, she knows she consented. Everything that was done to her was something she asked him for, something she had ample opportunity to avoid and chose not to, so -

Still, her voice comes out almost too quiet to hear. ]

. . . I did.

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

. . . Did you ask him, to?

[ quieter, his hands on his lap ]

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

I - . . . I wanted to understand him, so I asked him what love meant to him... I asked him to show me, and he kissed me then...

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

[ idly, stirring the rice to keep it from sticking to the sides of the pot ]

I see.

In that case, did you want to, with him?

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

I -

[ don't know how to answer that question. She has to think about it for a moment. What does wanting to have sex mean, placed separately from consenting to sex? When she thinks about him, and about lucifel, ]

... It wasn't... he didn't do anything to hurt me, but compared to you, it wasn't ... it was different, from doing it with you . . .

Re: Day 189

[maidenheaven]

Of course it would be different.

[ with a frown ]

He . . . We're not interchangeable.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

Mm. It isn't . . .

[ an inhale, ]

Luci, you . . . even if we had sex every day for the next ten thousand years, you know ... even if something like that happened, on the first day of the year after that, I'd want you to embrace me again, so you don't need to worry about things like that, okay...?