[imeeji] INBOX

[constellationprize]

Hi! This is ☆radia! I'm really sorry I wasn't able to answer your call... Um, if you need anything, it's fine to leave a message here! I'll answer you as soon as I can!
 

[ for phonecalls and texts ]

Comments

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

Mmm. I am upset.

[ not was - am. he speaks slowly, softly ]

That isn't your fault, however. ... It hurts more, to hear that you're fine.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

[ . . . ]

... I don't...

... You shouldn't have to worry about me. There wasn't really...

[ but if he says it hurts him she can't in confidence complete the sentence, ]

... I'm sorry.

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

I'm sorry, too.

[ wry, ]

Because, I'm still worrying about you. Even though you say I shouldn't, I am.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

So -

[ . . . ]

... I'm -

[ , ]

. . . Do you want me to come over...?

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

[ pausing, for a moment ]

. . . When you're ready, and no sooner than that.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

[ more relief in her voice than she really intends ]

... Ah...

[ and another pause, ]

Then... it's okay. We can talk like this a lot, can't we...? I'm just -

I'm just glad you're okay. And Doodle too . . . He was really worried too, so...

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

Of course we can.

[ there's a pause ]

. . . . Mmm, I know. He . . . I did a lot of horrible things, didn't I?

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

... You didn't.

He... he wouldn't tell me what happened, but I think - he was more worried about you...

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

It was "Amakusa Shirou" who hurt you.

[ pause ]

He is certainly, certainly worried about you too.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

... He didn't hurt me. I just - . . .

Towards me, at least, he ... he didn't do anything wrong.

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

Then, what did he do?

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

It was just - . . .

[ a bit distantly he can hear sheets rustling on her end, the bed creaking as she shifts a little, uncomfortable ]

. . . I wanted to understand - ... I wanted to understand him more, so he helped me.

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

. . .

[ slowly, each word heavy ]

I see.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

That's -

[ somewhat panicked, ]

That's all, so . . . it's okay, isn't it...? At least - ... if it's about me, at least, then you don't need to worry, okay...?

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

[ bitterness seeps into his tone, ]

I have to worry. I definitely, definitely have to worry.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

[ s

softly, a nervous quaver to her voice ]

- Luci . . . ?

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

. . .

You know . . . You already know. That incident defined me, as "Amakusa Shirou". As "Lucifel", those emotions haven't gone away. If there is an "Amakusa Shirou", then undoubtedly, he has gone through the same tragedy. Even by a different name, he has.

[ softer, ]

To understand any one of us, you would first have to understand that.

Saying something like, "he just helped me understand him". . . I know. I know what that sort of thing means.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

. . .

[ ah ]

. . . I'm sorry.

[ and after a pause, softer than her already delicate tone - any more than this and he may need to strain his ears - ]

It was - ... it was my fault, so . . . if it's for you or for Doodle, then it's ... that's different, but if it's about me - even though I already...

... Please don't be angry with him...

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

If I can't be angry with him, then I'll be angry with myself.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

[





]

- Don't.

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

I'm sorry.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

W-Why - why would you be angry with yourself? You didn't - ... even more than anyone else, you didn't do anything - ... and I -

- I followed him, and I let him - ... I asked him to help me, so it's my fault, isn't it...? He ... he gave me the chance to leave, too, so it's...

Neither of you did anything - Luci...

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

During the entire time that you were with him, that Avenger was with him - I was sleeping away like a baby. Moreover, if I wasn't the person I am, or if I hadn't had such a past, such a person wouldn't have come after you in the first place.

Re: Day 189

[constellationprize]

I -

[ she can't quite cobble together a proper retort so instead she blurts out ]

... - I'm coming over, okay?

Re: Day 189

[sancrimony]

Dia-sama, don't force yourself.